I was running up to the 12km mark when I realized I had lots of energy left in me. "Funny," I thought to myself, "last time I ran I ran out of gas at 13km as I was trying to keep up to the 'fast runners' in the immediate running group I was in." Looking around the crowd had thinned out to where individuals could run in single file and I could look ahead of me to see the twists and turns that lie ahead. As I paid attention to my body and what my spirit was telling me, it was at this moment where I gave myself permission to give it all I had for the finish line. I tore into my energy gel like a wild animal, sloshed water all over my "Run for Ratank" shirt trying to refuel my depleted body of the water it was so desperately longing for.
Questions naturally filled my mind: "what if I run out of gas like I did last time? What if I do not make my goal time of 2:00 h - 2:05h? Yet I heard that piercing voice again, the one I heard when I decided to run for Ratanak International, "just keep going."
A poem that I had heard earlier that week was brought to my attention as I felt my heartrate increase as my pace picked up. Although it had nothing to do with running and more to do with bike racing, it was relevant to the race that was yet set before me:
Just Pedal
At first, I saw God as my observer, my judge, keeping track of the things I did wrong, so as to know whether I merited heaven, or hell when I die. He was out there, sort of like a president. I recognized His picture when I saw it, but I really didn't know Him. But later on when I met Christ, it seemed as though life were rather like a bike ride, but it was a tandem bike. and I noticed that Christ was in the back helping me pedal.
I don't know just when it was that He suggested we changed places, but life has not been the same since. When I had control. I knew the way. It was rather boring, but predictable...It was the shortest distance between two points. But when He took the lead, He knew delightful long cuts, up mountains, and through rocky places at breakneck speeds, it was all I could do to hang on! Even though it looked like madness, He said, "Pedal!"
I worried and was anxious and asked, "Where are you taking me?" He laughed and didn't answer, and I started to learn to trust. I forgot my boring life and entered into the adventure. And when I'd say, "I'm scared," He'd lean back and touch my hand. He took me to people with gifts that I needed, gifts of healing, acceptance and joy. They gave me their gifts to take on my journey, my Lord's and mine. And we were off again. He said, "Give the gifts away; they're extra baggage, too much weight." So I did, to the people we met, and I found that in giving I received, and still our burden was light. I did not trust Him, at first, in control of my life. I thought He'd wreck it; but He knows bike secrets, knows how to make it bend to take sharp corners, jumps to clear high rocks, fly to shorten scary passages.
I am learning to shut up and pedal in the strangest places, and I'm beginning to enjoy the cool breeze on my face with my delightful constant companion, Christ. And when I'm sure I just can't do anymore, He smiles and says...
" Just Pedal."
I crossed the finish line at 2:03:44, 6 minutes shorter than my previous year's time. As I did, I realized that it was not just me running that day... someone was running alongside of me cheering me on. The prayers, the encouragements from friends, family and complete strangers helped me to "keep going" as I knew that this journey was short compared to the horror that many children face in Cambodia.
This year I ran for Ratanak. Someone I never met yet who has left a legacy of speaking up for the voiceless that will not easily be silenced.
Image from: (http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_ChNszMDiGhE/S78EOq7U-aI/AAAAAAAAFEk/-3W-zvOX1F0/s1600/tandem-bike.jpg)
Questions naturally filled my mind: "what if I run out of gas like I did last time? What if I do not make my goal time of 2:00 h - 2:05h? Yet I heard that piercing voice again, the one I heard when I decided to run for Ratanak International, "just keep going."
A poem that I had heard earlier that week was brought to my attention as I felt my heartrate increase as my pace picked up. Although it had nothing to do with running and more to do with bike racing, it was relevant to the race that was yet set before me:
Just Pedal
At first, I saw God as my observer, my judge, keeping track of the things I did wrong, so as to know whether I merited heaven, or hell when I die. He was out there, sort of like a president. I recognized His picture when I saw it, but I really didn't know Him. But later on when I met Christ, it seemed as though life were rather like a bike ride, but it was a tandem bike. and I noticed that Christ was in the back helping me pedal.
I don't know just when it was that He suggested we changed places, but life has not been the same since. When I had control. I knew the way. It was rather boring, but predictable...It was the shortest distance between two points. But when He took the lead, He knew delightful long cuts, up mountains, and through rocky places at breakneck speeds, it was all I could do to hang on! Even though it looked like madness, He said, "Pedal!"
I worried and was anxious and asked, "Where are you taking me?" He laughed and didn't answer, and I started to learn to trust. I forgot my boring life and entered into the adventure. And when I'd say, "I'm scared," He'd lean back and touch my hand. He took me to people with gifts that I needed, gifts of healing, acceptance and joy. They gave me their gifts to take on my journey, my Lord's and mine. And we were off again. He said, "Give the gifts away; they're extra baggage, too much weight." So I did, to the people we met, and I found that in giving I received, and still our burden was light. I did not trust Him, at first, in control of my life. I thought He'd wreck it; but He knows bike secrets, knows how to make it bend to take sharp corners, jumps to clear high rocks, fly to shorten scary passages.
I am learning to shut up and pedal in the strangest places, and I'm beginning to enjoy the cool breeze on my face with my delightful constant companion, Christ. And when I'm sure I just can't do anymore, He smiles and says...
" Just Pedal."
I crossed the finish line at 2:03:44, 6 minutes shorter than my previous year's time. As I did, I realized that it was not just me running that day... someone was running alongside of me cheering me on. The prayers, the encouragements from friends, family and complete strangers helped me to "keep going" as I knew that this journey was short compared to the horror that many children face in Cambodia.
This year I ran for Ratanak. Someone I never met yet who has left a legacy of speaking up for the voiceless that will not easily be silenced.
Image from: (http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_ChNszMDiGhE/S78EOq7U-aI/AAAAAAAAFEk/-3W-zvOX1F0/s1600/tandem-bike.jpg)
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